Friday, January 11, 2008
Owe...my stomach
The next two days are spent traveling back to Saigon. Ho and I somehow manage to catch the same bug. We got the chills, body aches, and diarrhea. It was a very long trip back.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Bad Massause!
Our next stop in in Quang Binh, a short jump to our destination of the Phong Nha Caverns.
We stay in our first 4-star hotel of the trip. It's very nice with contemporary furnishings. We hit up the massage parlour to see what this hotel has to offer. This time, everyone gets one. We go to the steam room, the sauna room, and then the massages. Afterwards, everyone has an interesting story to tell. Apparently Ho and Joe got molested by their masseuses. Hand were where they shouldn't be. Ho enjoyed it, Joe did not. I once again, had a regular massage. The girl did mention that I was one big bastard. I think she hurt herself trying to crack my back.
We get to the Phong Nha Caverns. They are a site to behold. The cavern system is huge and there's a lot to see. Most of the pictures don't show up too well because of the darkness. There was a couple that would not move for one of the shots I wanted to take, which really pissed me off. I spent the rest of the time trying to get into every shot they wanted to take. It was rather fun. I am evil like that, but then again, you all know that.
We stay in our first 4-star hotel of the trip. It's very nice with contemporary furnishings. We hit up the massage parlour to see what this hotel has to offer. This time, everyone gets one. We go to the steam room, the sauna room, and then the massages. Afterwards, everyone has an interesting story to tell. Apparently Ho and Joe got molested by their masseuses. Hand were where they shouldn't be. Ho enjoyed it, Joe did not. I once again, had a regular massage. The girl did mention that I was one big bastard. I think she hurt herself trying to crack my back.
We get to the Phong Nha Caverns. They are a site to behold. The cavern system is huge and there's a lot to see. Most of the pictures don't show up too well because of the darkness. There was a couple that would not move for one of the shots I wanted to take, which really pissed me off. I spent the rest of the time trying to get into every shot they wanted to take. It was rather fun. I am evil like that, but then again, you all know that.
Monday, January 7, 2008
Da Nang - Hoi An - Hue
Again, a full day of travel. On they way we stop by the Tay Son Family historical home. I guess they are considered heroes to the Vietnamese people. I will have to read up on it more when I get back to the states.
We go to the ancient town of Hoi An. I can't really say too much about the ancient city because Joe was the only one that went to see it. All the girls wanted to shop on the streets, so Ho and I had to accompany them. Someone has to hold all the stuff they buy.
We travel on some crazy mountain roads. They seem perfect for drifting, until you see that one side is a mountain wall and the other side is a freakin' cliff to the ocean below. The small barriers don't seem like very much protection for our huge bus. Our driver passes everyone, everywhere. Uphill, downhill, around blind corners, nothing stops him. There are several moments we are scared for our lives.
We get to Hue in 1 piece and head out for our first taste of the city, real Bun Bo Hue. I had such high hopes for it but again, I was whelmed.
We take a cruise on the famous Huong (Perfume) River. I don't know what they are talking about, because I smell nothing that's even close to perfumes. The river is calm and we get to hear some traditional Hue music. Since my Vietnamese is weak and the Hue accent is really strong, I understand nothing.
We visit the Nguyen Imperial Palace the next day. It is what an imperial palace should look like, with a moat, high walls, and large throne room. It's hard to imagine that Vietnam had a king until 1945. The palace is young, compared to most people's imagination of what am Imperial Palace should be.
We also see a couple of the previous king's mausoleums. They are big and gaudy, but nothing really interesting happens there except I get the biggest coconut I have every seen. The thing is bigger than my head and garners laughter and pointing everywhere I go with it. Money well spent in my book.
We go to the ancient town of Hoi An. I can't really say too much about the ancient city because Joe was the only one that went to see it. All the girls wanted to shop on the streets, so Ho and I had to accompany them. Someone has to hold all the stuff they buy.
We travel on some crazy mountain roads. They seem perfect for drifting, until you see that one side is a mountain wall and the other side is a freakin' cliff to the ocean below. The small barriers don't seem like very much protection for our huge bus. Our driver passes everyone, everywhere. Uphill, downhill, around blind corners, nothing stops him. There are several moments we are scared for our lives.
We get to Hue in 1 piece and head out for our first taste of the city, real Bun Bo Hue. I had such high hopes for it but again, I was whelmed.
We take a cruise on the famous Huong (Perfume) River. I don't know what they are talking about, because I smell nothing that's even close to perfumes. The river is calm and we get to hear some traditional Hue music. Since my Vietnamese is weak and the Hue accent is really strong, I understand nothing.
We visit the Nguyen Imperial Palace the next day. It is what an imperial palace should look like, with a moat, high walls, and large throne room. It's hard to imagine that Vietnam had a king until 1945. The palace is young, compared to most people's imagination of what am Imperial Palace should be.
We also see a couple of the previous king's mausoleums. They are big and gaudy, but nothing really interesting happens there except I get the biggest coconut I have every seen. The thing is bigger than my head and garners laughter and pointing everywhere I go with it. Money well spent in my book.
Friday, January 4, 2008
Qui Nhon
It was another day of driving today. We stopped by a couple of nice beaches to relax here and there. It looks like we're driving up the whole coast of Vietnam, which is pretty nice. On one of the beaches, we went to where they were selling seafood and got mobbed by the vendors. They were the most aggressive we have seen so far. Some of them were fighting with each other over us, it was kind of funny. There were definitely some different seafood there. All sorts of shellfish were to be had. There were prawns the size of freakin' lobsters. I don't know how they get them so big.
We stopped by the grave of one of Vietnam's most famous poet, Han Mac Tu. I had no clue who he was, but Anny and Tit did, and they bought their parents a poem book.
Qui Nhon is a pretty small town and we were situated right next to the local college. This was helpful in that there was a lot of food and gift stores. On the street, Anny found a shirt with the Hollister symbol and BEBE written across the front. We had to get it. It still had it's tag on it, from Arizona Jean Company.
Back at the hotel, we got our first experience with the Vietnamese massages. Girls in short skirts giving massages, that's how it's done. I'm pretty sure "special" services could be requested. Ho and Joe both got non-incidental groin touches, I did not. It wasn't until we were leaving that we saw all the girl's pictures on the wall with what massage room they were in. It looked like a menu.
We stopped by the grave of one of Vietnam's most famous poet, Han Mac Tu. I had no clue who he was, but Anny and Tit did, and they bought their parents a poem book.
Qui Nhon is a pretty small town and we were situated right next to the local college. This was helpful in that there was a lot of food and gift stores. On the street, Anny found a shirt with the Hollister symbol and BEBE written across the front. We had to get it. It still had it's tag on it, from Arizona Jean Company.
Back at the hotel, we got our first experience with the Vietnamese massages. Girls in short skirts giving massages, that's how it's done. I'm pretty sure "special" services could be requested. Ho and Joe both got non-incidental groin touches, I did not. It wasn't until we were leaving that we saw all the girl's pictures on the wall with what massage room they were in. It looked like a menu.
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Nha Trang
The bus arrives at 5:30am to take us on our next tour, to the city of Hue, in the middle of Vietnam. We'll be making stops along the way. We are on a 30 person bus with 17 people. We'll be picking up some more people who traveled the first leg by airplane. It's a pretty grueling first day, but we get to Nha Trang, a pretty sea-side city. We leave our hotel and take a short walk towards the beach. We hang out there for a bit and enjoy the dark ocean breeze. We decide to get some cyclos to take us around town. They are basically modified bicycles with a seat up front that can barely hold 2 people, much less my fat-ass. We pay them 20K dongs ($1.25) for a 30 minute ride around town and back to the hotel. I feel a little bad for the guys pedaling us, until I see Ho's guy pedaling with 1 foot and smoking a cigarette at the same time. I don't feel bad anymore.
Our tour guide tells us that there's a group of blind masseuses that are very good, so we decide to give it a shot. We see 5 (Tit does not want one) of them walking into the hotel, being led by the one that can see blurry objects. We talk to them for a bit and apparently they were trained in Hanoi. I think mine was trained in the art of torture. It starts hurting from the minute he starts. I swear he has bony nubs where his palms should be. His thumbs must have been solid stone, because I'm dying. He asks me if it hurts and of course I say no. No way I'm letting a blind masseuse get the best of me, but he does anyways. Do Indian burns count as a massage technique? After about an hour of biting my teeth, my session in pain is over. He asks to borrow the bathroom and I lead him there. He washes his hands in the sink, and then proceeds to feel around for the toilet. No good can come of this. He takes his pants and starts to pee, only some of it actually hitting it's mark. The rest go everywhere but. At this point, I think the guy is fucking with me, but there's no way to be sure. Anny yells at me for making fun of the guy because he's blind, but come on now. He's not deaf. He can clearly hear if he's hitting the toilet or not. Good thing we are only in this hotel for the night.
Our tour guide tells us that there's a group of blind masseuses that are very good, so we decide to give it a shot. We see 5 (Tit does not want one) of them walking into the hotel, being led by the one that can see blurry objects. We talk to them for a bit and apparently they were trained in Hanoi. I think mine was trained in the art of torture. It starts hurting from the minute he starts. I swear he has bony nubs where his palms should be. His thumbs must have been solid stone, because I'm dying. He asks me if it hurts and of course I say no. No way I'm letting a blind masseuse get the best of me, but he does anyways. Do Indian burns count as a massage technique? After about an hour of biting my teeth, my session in pain is over. He asks to borrow the bathroom and I lead him there. He washes his hands in the sink, and then proceeds to feel around for the toilet. No good can come of this. He takes his pants and starts to pee, only some of it actually hitting it's mark. The rest go everywhere but. At this point, I think the guy is fucking with me, but there's no way to be sure. Anny yells at me for making fun of the guy because he's blind, but come on now. He's not deaf. He can clearly hear if he's hitting the toilet or not. Good thing we are only in this hotel for the night.
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Ear Cleaning
This is a down day from all of our travels. A chance to just sit back and relax and breath in the smog-filled air of Saigon. We start they day off with a cup of coffee, one of 5 for the day. I decide to get a haircut with all the fixin's. All this for 20K dongs ($1.25). Apparently all the fixin's means something a little different here. They cut my hair, give me a shave, head massage, face mask, and the best part, the ear cleaning. They use a series of delicate instruments to remove your ear wax. It sounds scary, but it's the best feeling in the world. In terms you can all understand, I would say it feels as good as getting head. No joke. Amanda decides to brave it after hearing our discussions. She really enjoys it, as evident by Ho's video of her toes curling up during the process. She will be doing it again.
Anny's mom throws us an informal dinner gathering, as a way for the family to meet their newest member, me. It's kind of awkward and feels like a formal wedding reception. It goes by and we head out to a nice coffee shop afterwards. Everyone has coffee or ice cream except for Joe and Tit, who decide to venture into the land of alcohol. Being only 80-something pounds, it doesn't take much for Tit to get fucked up. She's pretty much blitzed after her 2nd black russian. We head back home to sleep while Tit is hugging the toilet the rest of the night.
Anny's mom throws us an informal dinner gathering, as a way for the family to meet their newest member, me. It's kind of awkward and feels like a formal wedding reception. It goes by and we head out to a nice coffee shop afterwards. Everyone has coffee or ice cream except for Joe and Tit, who decide to venture into the land of alcohol. Being only 80-something pounds, it doesn't take much for Tit to get fucked up. She's pretty much blitzed after her 2nd black russian. We head back home to sleep while Tit is hugging the toilet the rest of the night.
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
Last Day in Bangkok
It is our last day in Thailand. We find out that we got several hours until we have to meet up for the trip home. We do not go with the group to Lotus, which sees like a glorified supermarket/department store. We decide to take the Sky Train, which Joe has been mentioning the whole time. This makes him very happy. Somehow, the experience is not how he envisioned in his mind. It's basically a subway car that rides on rails above the city. Nothing too impressive. Basically, we are whelmed.
The Sky Train takes us to our next point, the Penis Shrine. It all started out as a regular shrine, but I guess along the way, someone asked for a baby and got one. They were so happy that they brought back a wooden penis to show their appreciation. This lead to more penises (peni?) until the shrine became the Penis Shrine. There are hundreds, if not thousands of wooden phallic symbols everywhere. We take some time to get some pictures of us in compromising poses. As we leave, we see a gay couple come up and start praying. Somehow, I don't think their prayers are going to be answered so easily.
We take a short flight back to Saigon. Everyone seems full of energy so we decide to try out one of Saigon's dance clubs, Gossip. Price of admission is $10US, kind of steep, but worth the experience. We can tell it's a different environment right away. Everyone is shaking our hands as we walk in, and I mean everyone. It's like a red carpet entrance. It doesn't stop there. We are escorted to a balcony table where they serve us drinks. Our glasses are never empty or lacking in ice at any point. We hit the dance floor and are escorted through the crowds by security. They have more security per square foot than I have seen anywhere in my life. I count no less then 4 guys, just around the dance floor. I soon realize this is my type of club. People here dance like fools, so I blend right in. If I jump up and down with my arms by my side, no one would even notice me. I guess guys dancing with other guys is normal, because we see that a whole lot. I wish we could have taken some pictures, but like many of the other places we have been, we are not allowed to take any pictures. We leave and again, are escorted out by a slew of handshakes and smiles. It makes spending all that money seem worth it for the VIP treatment.
The Sky Train takes us to our next point, the Penis Shrine. It all started out as a regular shrine, but I guess along the way, someone asked for a baby and got one. They were so happy that they brought back a wooden penis to show their appreciation. This lead to more penises (peni?) until the shrine became the Penis Shrine. There are hundreds, if not thousands of wooden phallic symbols everywhere. We take some time to get some pictures of us in compromising poses. As we leave, we see a gay couple come up and start praying. Somehow, I don't think their prayers are going to be answered so easily.
We take a short flight back to Saigon. Everyone seems full of energy so we decide to try out one of Saigon's dance clubs, Gossip. Price of admission is $10US, kind of steep, but worth the experience. We can tell it's a different environment right away. Everyone is shaking our hands as we walk in, and I mean everyone. It's like a red carpet entrance. It doesn't stop there. We are escorted to a balcony table where they serve us drinks. Our glasses are never empty or lacking in ice at any point. We hit the dance floor and are escorted through the crowds by security. They have more security per square foot than I have seen anywhere in my life. I count no less then 4 guys, just around the dance floor. I soon realize this is my type of club. People here dance like fools, so I blend right in. If I jump up and down with my arms by my side, no one would even notice me. I guess guys dancing with other guys is normal, because we see that a whole lot. I wish we could have taken some pictures, but like many of the other places we have been, we are not allowed to take any pictures. We leave and again, are escorted out by a slew of handshakes and smiles. It makes spending all that money seem worth it for the VIP treatment.
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